Monday, October 30, 2017

This is not Advice


[10/30/2017 - I found this piece today, a draft I never posted. I don't remember writing it, or why I never finished it. It was written three years ago in 2014.


As of today, Jeremiah have been divorced a little over a year. We spent the year before that separated. We lived together for 3 months between separation and divorce.


The decision to divorce was mine. Reading this now, I expected to feel something like regret or sadness. I don't, so I suppose posting this now is the logical next step.]


Jeremiah and I have been married three years as of Thursday, August 28. Two of my best friends (and house-mates) Ken and Jen will be getting married this Saturday, August 30. So, with all this wedded bliss in the air, I'm feeling inspired to share some wisdom.

LOL.

Three years of marriage certainly doesn't give me any great clout in the marriage advice arena. I'm not saying I'm doing it right, or well, or that you should do it too.

So far, marriage is just as frustrating and magical and insane as I imagined.

Seriously. It's crazy. And stupid. And hilarious. And amazing. And stupid. Absolutely weird and ridiculous.

So, what I present to you here is not a list of wisdom that will help you achieve a happy marriage. Achievement isn't really the goal here. Instead I give you…

Un-Wisdom
Shit I learned from couples and the media about love and marriage that freaked me out and made me think crazy stupid fictitious crap about love and marriage:

1) I watched The Notebook - In the early days of my relationship with Jeremiah, back when we lived in separate parts of the state and wrote letters and texted 24/7 to get to know each other, he asked me (I'm paraphrasing) "Why aren't you in a relationship?"

"I don't believe in love," I told him.