The Unhinged Servant - Part 1

Part 1: Self Interest 

Service is a gift directly from Papa (see Romans 12). Service is also an industry.

A fucked up, demon ridden industry that I thank Pops daily (now that I've had time to reflect on the situation) for the opportunity to infiltrate and destroy from the inside.

I am uncomfortable being paid to serve. I am uncomfortable being expected to serve. I'd really much rather spend my time doing pretty much anything else.

I write this as a servant of Papa God. A begrudging servant, at best. A cog in the machine that is the service industry. A burnt out cog in need of a spit polish.

I write this for the encouragement of my fellow servants, as well as my own encouragement. And whether you know it or not, if you're reading this you carry the gift of service (so this is for you, too).

I pledge my hands to larger service,
and Heavenly Doughnuts. 

About three years ago, I was discovering that Papa God is not a collection of bullshit fantasy fiction wrapped and bound in the pages of a book called Bible. Rather, as He's continued to reveal Himself to me, He's a loving, nurturing, living badass who heals, raises the dead, multiplies food, teleports people, and otherwise defies the laws of physics we tend to submit ourselves to. And those bullshit stories, well they keep ringing true. I see them happen with my own eyes.

With this new perspective, and after watching the documentary Finger of God several times, I decided I  seriously wanted to go to Africa and learn with Heidi and Roland Baker at Iris Ministries. I diligently perused the Iris Ministries website, found an application for their ministry school, and set to filling it out.

The application included a list of spiritual gifts, with a prompt to check off all that apply. I'd never seen such a list, and had no idea if I was worthy to check off any. Sure, I want the gift of healing, of prophesy, leadership, miracles (here's a useful link if you're unfamiliar with the gifts I'm talking about). Those are awesome. Frack yes.

But can I actually do these things? I asked Papa. And he nudged me to check off a few. Service was one. I chose not to check it.


I hate doing dishes. I hate cleaning. Especially messes that aren't mine. No, no. Gift of service is definitely not for me. I'll take that healing one though, if you please. And let's throw in a little dash of miracle working for good measure. Wisdom, too, if it's not too much bother. Tongues, kind of freak me out. But I'll take 'em.

Let's just say, I didn't submit my application. I deeply desired to live in Africa and see Papa God at work. I still do. But a serious perspective shift needed/needs to happen.

Apparently, Papa perceived the need for that shift long before I did because he set me up as a Barista at a specialty coffee shop. I work with my best friends, my family. Many were in my wedding. I've lived with a few. We're artists, philosophers, foodies, coffee aficionados, alcohol and tobacco connoisseurs. And holy shit do we wash a lot of dishes. We mop, dust, scrub toilets, sweep up the crumbs strewn about by toddlers and middle-aged adults alike. Many days I feel like a janitor who makes coffee, rather than a barista.

Cleaning is a skill I did not possess before this job. It is now an uncontrollable compulsion. Messes have gotten entirely too easy to spot, and I'm entirely too efficient at getting rid of them. Service is a gift I've always possessed, and it turns out cleaning is only one very narrow way to express it. Thank God.

As Papa has expanded my ability to embrace service as a gift, he's also been illuminating the gift of leadership. They go hand in hand and I stand firmly that the two can. not. be. separated. With the very act of choosing to surround Himself with the same 12 (kinda selfish and jerky) dudes every day, Jesus illustrated the connection purposefully and profoundly.

But we've veered off on a direction better suited for Part Two (or Three).

If you find yourself serving your knuckles raw with little to no help in return, please know (chant it if you have to) that you're in the company of Jesus. If you are a paid member of the service industry, despair not. You are in prime position to commune, worship, and chill directly with Papa.

Your comments, thoughts, reactions, opinions: they're so much more than welcome. I learn from you! Even (or especially) when you offend me. Help me grow, help me write Part 2. Go for it, gimme some words.

Oh, and hey! While if you're up to it, mull this over. I've got opinions about it, and they are directing my plans for part two. Care to help me shape them?