New Roads Part 2

Familiar Spirits

[For an audio version of this post, play the video at the bottom of the page.]

When I wrote Part 1, Dad had been speaking to me about "familiar spirits." I didn't realize that's what we'd been conversing about until recently. The term "familiar spirits" isn't mine, it's one I've heard used by folks who've spoken words about the concept that resonated with me. Whenever I use the term though, it feels a little foreign and religious. I don't like it, but I don't have anything better just yet.

I'm going to discuss a little of my experiences over the past couple weeks recognizing and addressing familiar spirits related to my knee. I'm not going to go into real extensive detail over the theology behind the concept because I think its been covered very well by others.

One great source for theology on the concept is The Company of Burning Hearts, a team in Wales, UK founded by Justin and Rachel Abraham. They've got a free podcast; if you haven't downloaded it I recommend it. Not because I agree with everything their speakers say, but because every time I listen, they're speaking about something ridiculously relevant in my current conversations with Dad.

The Podcast below, "Episode 30 - Familiar Spirits," is Ian Clayton speaking on June 25th 2011. I found it last week, after asking Dad for something to listen to while trying to get my knee healed. The title didn't catch my eye, because I wasn't looking to learn about familiar spirits. Something about the description engaged me, though, so I hit play.

A reference to the Lone Ranger and Tonto early in the podcast confirmed I was on the right track; it was the third unsolicited such reference I'd encountered in a day or two. If you're giving it a go, Ian gets good and poignant at about 5:50. I read American Gods by Neil Gaiman recently, and Ian hits on exactly the message I received from that book.



As I listened, I began to recognize the moods I've been experiencing since injuring my knee were very much what Ian was describing. A literal dialogue in my mind speaking lies directly aimed at my identity and relationship with Dad. Beyond that, I began to recognize that I hadn't heard that dialogue in a very long time, but I had heard it before - word for word - when I last tore my ACL. Deja vu.

While I laid hands on my knee, the image of a heavy wooden door came to mind and I spoke the words "I close the door this injury opened." I then invited Holy Spirit into my knee via a door I built just for Her. I'm still weeding out familiar spirits, but they're getting less and less frequent (at least in regards to my knee).

Seems like in the moment I first injured my knee years ago, a door was created by a brushfire of fear, fueled by Fword-inducing pain. That door has been open until now. When it was open, I'd take authority and clean house of familiar spirits, only to have more walk right in. Now, they leave and have no entrance through which to return with friends.

That's my best effort at describing this thing that's happening, at least.

This time, when I injured my knee, I was quite calm in comparison. I knew exactly what had been done. I didn't cry or curse. Immediately, my mind went to Jesus and I began releasing healing. The moment I hit the ground, I rebuked the pain. My friend Meghan sat by me and laid hands, too. What an awesome place to get healed and demonstrate Dad's presence, I thought.

I don't want to say I wasn't healed, or I'm not healed. I firmly believe, in fact, that I am healed.

The evidence remains, though, that my knee is quite swollen, often painful, and limited to a restricted range of motion.


How to respond then, when folks lay hands and my knee seems the same once they're done. When my co-workers and customers ask how I'm doing, what do I say?

I've noticed these questions are triggers for familiar spirits. Immediately they begin to commiserate with me and a wave of negative emotions drops on my shoulders. They agree that It's all so unfair, I will indeed never play volleyball again, I'll obviously be in pain the rest of my life I can't even drop to my knees in worship it's all awful.

None of which is true, nor are they responses that I'm willing to give.

Do I lie, then, and say it's much better? Oh yes! I'm healed, praise God! While limping and wincing.

Not necessarily a lie, because I am healed. But it's not exactly true, either.

A little further into the podcast, at 12:20, Ian says something that really impacted my healing journey: "We go into Heaven to get clean. We don't get clean to go into Heaven... All you've got to do is just practice.

Like I said in Part 1, I'm done with evidence. I'm seeking the unseen. I need practice, because so far I'm not even very acute at recognizing the unseen when it smacks me in the face. In order to practice, I decided to get back to work. Couldn't tell you why except that, as I noted, I've never worked with a broken knee before.

It's been a few weeks, and I've got a hunch there's more to it.

Let me tell you, if you hate your job, getting a new one won't fix things. My theory is that, if we're living out of our throne in Heaven, regardless of what we're doing here on earth it should be pretty fricken awesome. Familiar spirits are really fricken good at ruining your awesome.

Pouring love is good practice.

I returned to work and promptly experienced more deja vu. Familiar spirits I'd heard before were back. These weren't as interested in my knee, though they worked together nicely. Had I not been ushering some spirits out of my knee door, I wouldn't have recognized these ones. I hadn't heard them since leaving my last job a few months ago. Even in such a short time, I'd forgotten them enough to provide some camouflage before I recognized them.

I'm practicing. If I want experience dealing with familiar spirits, I need to get knee deep in their territory. That's where I've been.

My mission isn't to seek and destroy spirits, however. Let me clarify. I'm practicing entering into the Heavenly realm and resting in Dad's presence. It's one thing to practice in the comfort of my living room or at a worship service (which I've done, and its good!); it's another to practice in the thick of enemy territory. Not better or worse, but other.

What has practice been looking like so far? Nothing flashy or newsworthy. I started by paying attention to my internal dialogue and consciously discerning whether I was speaking, Dad was speaking, or a familiar spirit was speaking. This took a while at first, but I'm getting pretty quick.

Discernment alone, no matter how fast my draw, didn't exactly help. I had to also experiment with ways to pick my mood back up, to continue engaging with and releasing Kingdom in every interaction.
I'm still experimenting to be honest. Sometimes, I run through a list of key aspects of my Christly identity. Sometimes, I sing or hum in tongues. Sometimes I just start telling Dad what I'm feeling, giving him the crap and receiving gold in return.

Receiving can be hard. I'm sure Dad is constantly showering me in gold and most often, I've got my umbrella up trying to avoid it. It occurred to me, while heaping piles of apathy and complaints on Dad, that he should probably be getting some Glory too. That's when those questions, the ones that used to trigger familiar spirits, became opportunities.

Golden opportunities from Heaven.

As people continued asking "How's your knee doing?" I began experimenting with responses that glorified Jesus. I'm a tad ashamed of how difficult its been, though in retrospect unsurprised. So far, I've landed on "It's healing." I think I can do better.

While closing the cafe, I like to turn the music up as loud as possible and sing in tongues or gibberish. Sometimes, I sink quickly into the Holy Spirit zone and my mind shuts its yappy mouth. Other times, I have to constantly quiet myself. Or, I let my mind do whatever and just try not to question whether I'm speaking in tongues or gibberish. While counting the till one afternoon, after being particularly put off by my mind's interference, I got the idea to try speaking in tongues while counting money. I couldn't do it! Since accuracy was highly important, I gave up for the time being, but I intend to practice at home with my own money.

Like I said, I'm not practicing to win battles with familiar spirits. The battle is already won. I'm practicing stepping into the Unseen. I will, for example, practice discerning spirits. Not for the sake of acknowledging or battling, but so that eventually I don't have to pay them any attention at all.

Throughout the past couple weeks, my friends have said some very encouraging and loving things. For me, though, I was bolstered most when they expressed their trials with familiar spirits; not commiserating, but sharing experience. Knowing that I'm not alone on my path has been vital. Have you been dealing with similar ideas, concepts, or issues? What's Dad saying to you? What have you been practicing?


Read Part 1 and Part 1.75 by clicking :)