Hush, Listen, Obey

Your personalized health plan Part 2

Ironically, the afternoon I wrote this, my internet got shut off. Don't pay your bills, lose communication with the outside world. That's the "real" world kids. So, I got a ride with my roomy to Panera this morning and can finally post the conclusion to that rotten cliff hanger I left you all with several afternoons ago. I shall not apologize though; the story would have been incomplete prior to today. 


Within days of flipping God my middle finger, He responded by bringing me Jeremiah. After months of friendship he bashfully started telling me about healings he saw and participated in at the Lighthouse. Then he told me to watch Finger of God by Darren Wilson.

If you don't feel like you can hear God clearly just yet, watch listen and read as much testimony as possible. Fortify your faith. Here's the thing, you do hear God. It just takes faith to believe you do. And testimony builds faith like steroids build muscle (without the creepy side effects).

Neti-pot.
Day 4. 

Fast forward to three years ago, I told God I believed he was The Healer. Of both the world and myself. And then I declared, to God and whoever else was listening, that I would under no circumstances take medicine again.

As though my heart and guts had ears I heard (roughly, as it's hard to translate spirit language into English), "Agreed. Now, be ready. You will be tested."

A few months later I laid hands on my mom during a migraine. She was healed.

A couple weeks after that, I got my first migraine. I thought I would die. I spent the morning in a steamy shower and in prayer. And as I toweled my hair dry, God showed me an irony in getting my first migraine after healing my mom. I laughed, and was instantly healed.

Later, I would discover my only food allergy: fresh figs. Four horribly painful experiences and a failed (and expensive) doctors visit later, instantly healed. Twice, because I ate half a fig before I remembered not to.

The day we returned from our honeymoon type thing, Jeremiah and I shared the experience of concession-stand-hotdog-enduced food poisoning. That one, we did not get miraculously healed from. But we didn't die (test passed).

Dozens of ailments have swung bats and fists my way. A few I endured and walked away healthy without a doctor or medicine to speak of. A few were miraculously healed by prayer - either at the hands of others or myself.

I've laid hands on nearly every person I know. Most of them have been healed as well. Every one of them walked away feeling warm and cozy inside.

Despite these awesome confirmations of Dad's love, presence, and desire to heal, I'll admit I have a seriously hard time getting healed myself. I don't even like the words "getting healed" or "hard" in the same sentence. As far as I understand my conversations with Dad, we are already healed. Christ's work is finished.

 Dad is not making us sick or keeping us sick for any reason. Health is part of our Christly identity. Dad gave us the command to heal the sick, and in so doing gave us the power and authority to get it done (Matthew 10:8)

But it doesn't always happen the way we'd like or expect. And sometimes we pray and pray but remain sick. Sometimes, it seems really frackin' hard to step into the wholeness and health that is our eternal identity.

The past week and a half has been dreadful. It started with the most intense migraine I've yet experienced. It lasted a full 24 hours, through my final shift at Mud Bay Coffee. I couldn't think straight enough to wage any "spiritual warfare" or speak any in depth prayer. I spoke in tongues (or muttered gibberish) for a few minutes, and when I stopped Dad said take some aspirin now, and Advil in 4 hours.

Hush, Listen, Obey

Your personalized health plan Part 1

"You believe God heals, right?"
"Yes. Of course. Absolutely."
"Yet you're still sick."

I was imagining having this conversation with someone in a church before laying hands on them a few days ago. In my imagination, I was the one asking the questions. But the moment the conversation ended, I realized that I was sick one.

Despite every effort, I spent my days off this week inconsolably ill and apparently un-healed.

"You're still sick."

"Apparently... What now?"

Appearances aren't always what they seem. Sometimes, when it appears we're not getting healed and God isn't responding, it's because He's inviting us into some good quality alone time with Him.

Now, seek God's voice. Not healing, or a Bible verse, or stuff to do.

Listen. 

Stop what you're doing, tell yourself to hush, stop asking questions, and see what you hear. 

Sometimes our efforts to get healed...

Make better doors than windows.

Keep in mind, our entire being is an antenna designed to tune in to God's frequency. It's not always our ears that do the hearing.

Then, do as directed. Or for you, maybe it's as you imagined. Or as you feel compelled.

God wants you healed. He's already made it so. He's not preventing it. Pray. Keep praying and don't stop. But while you're at it hush, listen, and obey. It's a plan with such potential to be simple.

Simplicity often comes in retrospect, though. Let me tell you, that conversation I nonchalantly posted up top seriously screwed with me.

A lifetime has lead up to that conversation; I'll start a few years back to bring you up to speed.

By age 19, I'd seen one man I prayed for daily pass away. The death he experienced, which took three months of unexplained hospitalization, I would not wish on anyone or any family. I'd spent ten years of daily prayer seeking the healing of that man's wife. She still has Multiple Sclerosis, it's still getting worse.


I tore my ACL and feared I'd lost my opportunity to play volleyball at another college.

So mid-prayer one day, I abruptly told God to fuck off. That I was never praying for anyone's healing again.

---
Part 2 will be posted later this evening. Thanks for lending me your eyes and hearts. Comments welcome!

Religious Affliction

Jesus came to free the captives, not exalt the Oppressor 

Jesus was not meant to be a religious leader.

He wasn't, at any point in the Gospels a religious leader, figurehead, or subscriber.

I once posted this as my Facebook status and the response was interesting, though my point seemed missed. So I'll go a step further.

Christianity is not a religion.

Relationship and Life are good soil.
Buildings? Not so much. (See Matthew 13:3-8)

Sure, there is a religion that has named itself Christianity. And there are people who ascribe to this religion who've name themselves Christians.

But Christianity, to be a "Little Christ," is not a religion. It is life and relationship.

And by golly it's messy. No rows of pews or bullet-pointed lesson plans.

Until recently, I read portions of the Gospels involving the Pharisees as conflict directly against the Pharisees. In Matthew 16, for example, the Pharisees and Sadducees demand miraculous signs from Jesus. I read Jesus' response as a direct scolding of the religious leaders. "Watch out! Beware the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees," he warns onlookers.

Jesus engaged in conflict throughout the Gospels very rarely. Specifically, I've noticed he conflicted with Satan, and demons. And frankly, "conflict" is a bit too kind. Conflict implies that Satan had an opportunity for victory; implies a contest with an uncertain overcomer. There was never a contest, Jesus is the victor.

My initial understanding of Jesus's interaction with the Pharisees was that the religious leaders were the target of the conflict. But I realized that I was directly contradicting my statement above, that Jesus' target was/is Satan, not the men and woman he created. Jesus said to be ware of the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees, not be ware of the men themselves.

The Pharisees were rather confused at this warning. We haven't even brought any bread, they argued. Jesus reminded them about the thousands he fed with the equivalent of a boy's sack lunch, and explained that he was in no way speaking of bread. They understood he wasn't speaking of bread yeast, but of religious teaching.

Which leads me to the idea I'm currently exploring: "Religion" is an oppressive, afflicting spirit.

Protest

Brainstorming alternatives to fighting fire with Fire

I learned recently about a protest being demonstrated at my husband Jeremiah's work. The protest has been ongoing for the past year at least (How am I just hearing of this!) and will likely not end while those participating work at the store.

I was let in on the details of the protest after tossing Jeremiah a t-shirt for work. Standard uniform is a t-shirt provided by the store and casual pants. He tossed it back and said "I don't wear that one." We were running late and there were no other shirts in his drawer. I was getting frustrated. He rifled through a pile of clothes shoved in his closet, found another shirt and put it on.

I looked down at the shirt in my hand and the shirt on his back. Same color, same back logo. "What the heck?" I asked.

"The one you gave me says 'Crew' on the front."

"So?"

Jeremiah, ready for work back before
joining the t-shirt cause.  

"So I don't wear it. I never have worn it. We're protesting them at work."

"Protesting what?"

"The shirts that have the word 'Crew' printed on them." I gave him a look that managed to both express my confusion and demand further explanation. "One of the store's core values is equality of staff. 'Crew' very clearly separates us from the other positions."

"So no one wears them?"

"A lot of us don't. We aren't trying to spread it around or recruit people or anything. Word gets around, some people care some don't."

I had an experience recently after trying to explain my thoughts on giving and tithing. My thoughts were met by a woman whose "been in ministry since she was saved." Of her responses, most notable were "You can't give to people and call it tithing. God defines tithing and giving, not you... Hopefully you have a Bible so you have access to the same verses as me."

I realized that the point I was trying to make - I give to people, not establishments - needed a lot more explanation than is reasonable on a platform like someone else's Facebook page. In parting, I explained that since I've chosen not to attend a church building, I tithe differently than she does. Though our expressions of Church are different, I am not omitted from tithing.

The interaction was incredibly fruitful for me, as it led directly to a conversation with Dad. As a writer, I find miscommunication particularly frustrating. As a life-long student, I find imposed teaching from strangers particularly frustrating. As a member of Christ's body, I find it particularly frustrating when the religious spirit comes along sewing separatism and disunity.

"I don't attend a church building, Dad. I'm under the impression this is a decision I came to with your guidance and blessing." In response, the details of Jeremiah's t-shirt protest came to mind. I noticed many parallel's between his protest against separatism at work and my protest against separatism in the Body of Christ.

"What are you protesting?" Dad asked.

"Religion. Is it wrong to protest?"

"Does it separate you from community?"

Aha! I can't protest religion by creating separatism and disunity. Doing so would undermine and omit me from my core values. I find Jeremiah's t-shirt protest seriously profound because, if done differently, they could easily create the very environment they are protesting. Instead, their tactics have generated unity between 'crew' members without sewing separatism with employees in other positions.

On the whole, I haven't sacrificed community with anyone by not attending church. I should note, I do go to church if someone I care about building relationship with invites me. To refuse an invitation on the basis of protest would be anti-social and separatist. That said, genuine relationships with the people around me are the foundation of my community. When relationships start to get trivial and fake, I know I've exceeded my circle of influence and need to refocus my energy. When I accept a church invitation it is to build relationship with one or two particular people, not to beef up the number of people in my circle.

There is potential, and at times I have, chosen anti-social behaviors due to my religion protest. Intentional living is key to building community. When my intentions are gray, I find it inevitable that I'll miss my mark. If my intentions are to live in community with others free of religion and full of Christ, I must make intentional decisions to act in ways that foster my intentions rather than undermine them.

I know many - most of those in my church community, actually - who've chosen to omit weekly church building attendance with similar intentions. If we can truly claim that our decision is based on our intentions, we must begin asking ourselves how to sew seeds of unity and community lest we embrace the separatism we've abandoned.