Let's jump in!
One issue Papa and I talked about was why I wanted to write and share Jessie's story in the first place. Writing is a vital means of communication between Papa and I. As I wrote Part 1, God pointed out that if the current model of church, involving a building, programs, etc., isn't something I'm willing to embrace, I need an alternative.
I shared Jessie's story not only because she felt the tangible presence of God through me, but because I felt Him through her too. We shared the experience. "Kidney Roast Part 1" isn't just Jessie's story, but mine also. Shared experience is pivotal in my effort to illustrate an alternative to the church model I've rejected.
I shared Jessie's story not only because she felt the tangible presence of God through me, but because I felt Him through her too. We shared the experience. "Kidney Roast Part 1" isn't just Jessie's story, but mine also. Shared experience is pivotal in my effort to illustrate an alternative to the church model I've rejected.
Another aspect of my conversation with Papa revolved around personal growth, and further expounds upon the necessity of shared experience.
When I pray to heal people and ask what they feel, heat is the most common response. Jessie is the first person I've been able to confidently discuss the nature of that heat with. I didn't know the relevance until I started perusing a friend's blog, Mobile Intensive Prayer Unit. Two posts in particular, "The Summer of my Discontent," and "ICU Being Healed," prompted me to email him and also taught me about this heat everyone was mentioning.
When Kendal and I laid hands on Jessie the first time, I didn't know she'd felt any heat because I didn't ask. When customers came in, we abandoned our healing efforts. The conversation with her afterward went something like:
How do you feel?
So much better, but still some pain.
Ok great!
Round two, I'd had time to learn from our first attempt. I asked how she felt as we prayed, and after each interruption in our prayer I returned directly back to the task at hand. When I finally learned about the heat Jessie had been feeling, it still wasn't because I'd asked her about it. I felt heat in my own hands, and mentioned it without thinking.
I realized afterward that I'd had a specific question on my heart, are you feeling any heat?, all along. But I wasn't confident enough to ask such a specific question, so I settled with how do you feel?
Though on accident, I'd opened up conversation. This leads me to another point in my chat with Papa. Shared experience, I'll say, is the seed of community. Open communication, then, is the soil in which community flourishes.
Thankfully, the urge to communicate the heat I was feeling overwhelmed my timidity, and subsequently Jessie pulled revelation from my spirit. "I wonder if I can feel it before you do," she asked.
"You would feel the heat before I do, because God's spirit is radiating from within you. It's coming from you, not me," I responded. When I'm healing, I'm not giving anything the person before me doesn't already have. We are whole and complete by Christ's blood. No work we do or words we say can make us any more perfect, can make Christ's victory any more victorious.
What I'm doing when laying hands, which I hadn't articulated before this point, is recognizing the presence of God in the person before me, and bringing them into awareness of that presence. This is a truth that was in my spirit, but hadn't yet been received by my head.
By coming to Jessie as a peer and an equal, not as someone seeking to convert or indoctrinate, I was open to receiving as much as giving. By openly communicating with her and sharing in God's presence, we communed as the Church right there in our coffee stand.
When I pray to heal people and ask what they feel, heat is the most common response. Jessie is the first person I've been able to confidently discuss the nature of that heat with. I didn't know the relevance until I started perusing a friend's blog, Mobile Intensive Prayer Unit. Two posts in particular, "The Summer of my Discontent," and "ICU Being Healed," prompted me to email him and also taught me about this heat everyone was mentioning.
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| From ashes shall the phoenix rise. From spro' and foam shall it be drawn. |
When Kendal and I laid hands on Jessie the first time, I didn't know she'd felt any heat because I didn't ask. When customers came in, we abandoned our healing efforts. The conversation with her afterward went something like:
How do you feel?
So much better, but still some pain.
Ok great!
Round two, I'd had time to learn from our first attempt. I asked how she felt as we prayed, and after each interruption in our prayer I returned directly back to the task at hand. When I finally learned about the heat Jessie had been feeling, it still wasn't because I'd asked her about it. I felt heat in my own hands, and mentioned it without thinking.
I realized afterward that I'd had a specific question on my heart, are you feeling any heat?, all along. But I wasn't confident enough to ask such a specific question, so I settled with how do you feel?
Though on accident, I'd opened up conversation. This leads me to another point in my chat with Papa. Shared experience, I'll say, is the seed of community. Open communication, then, is the soil in which community flourishes.
Thankfully, the urge to communicate the heat I was feeling overwhelmed my timidity, and subsequently Jessie pulled revelation from my spirit. "I wonder if I can feel it before you do," she asked.
"You would feel the heat before I do, because God's spirit is radiating from within you. It's coming from you, not me," I responded. When I'm healing, I'm not giving anything the person before me doesn't already have. We are whole and complete by Christ's blood. No work we do or words we say can make us any more perfect, can make Christ's victory any more victorious.
What I'm doing when laying hands, which I hadn't articulated before this point, is recognizing the presence of God in the person before me, and bringing them into awareness of that presence. This is a truth that was in my spirit, but hadn't yet been received by my head.
By coming to Jessie as a peer and an equal, not as someone seeking to convert or indoctrinate, I was open to receiving as much as giving. By openly communicating with her and sharing in God's presence, we communed as the Church right there in our coffee stand.
One last note: My conversation with Meghan brought up the idea of "words of knowledge," which Papa has been mentioning but I haven't had a chance to really sink my teeth into. Between my hot kidneys and Meghan's aching kidneys, we were reminded of Jeremiah's fiery word from God in "Glowing Bladders..."It seems God is looking to speak to us through language that doesn't involve words. Surprise, surprise.
I've not attempted to write down my learning/conversation process with Papa before, so please excuse any lack of continuity that might make following this difficult. I want to reiterate, this is a reflection of a learning process. The learning is still in process. Will always be in process.
Care to be part of the process? Fire away with you questions and comments. Something about conversation and community is ringing a bell...
The fact that your kidneys were warm seemed unusual to me. One reason I say it's unusual (for me) is because I never feel anything myself when praying for people, except the presence of God, which usually comes as a sensation of peace with a slight involuntary swaying back and forth.
ReplyDeleteThe few times I have felt something else, it's always seemed like a word of knowledge about someone else. I wonder if God wasn't confirming for you the continued healing of Jessie, or perhaps the need for Meghan's healing.
I've noticed that people who are new to healing, feel sensations in their hands when praying for others, but the sensations don't usually last very long. After a while, when they're comfortable with what Papa is doing, the sensations tend to dissipate.
I suspect that the sensations are a kind of affirmation from Him that something's going on. Sort of a confidence booster. But as we grow in His ways, we don't need confirmation and we may experience them less often. If that happens - don't worry. The power is still there, whether you feel it or not.
I like your thoughts on community and shared experience. As a person who can't attend regular church services, this is an intriguing concept and I think it's an important aspect of our spiritual life.
So many good things to think about....
I've never paid attention to a word of knowledge, which is what I'm settled on calling the warmth in my kidneys. But the more I reflect, the stronger my hunch that I've felt them before and not had the presence of mind to react accordingly (or react at all). I think your right, it was confirmation of Jessie's continued healing. She's felt better the next day and has continued to feel better since.
DeleteI'm thinking also, God's drawing Meghan closer to Him, and engaging her curiosity is one way He's doing so. We talk about healing frequently, and her heart is huge. In small part, I think it was a reminder to keep her in the loop with the healing stuff. I have a feeling that in larger part, God was/is up to something more with Meg that He and she will be talking about.
Speaking of sensations in hands... I've had an interesting day. I'll be writing and posting soon. I think there's some relevance to what you've mentioned here.
It's reassuring to remember that God's power is not dependent on what I'm feeling! Also a good reminder to continue growing familiar with His presence, so I don't get dependent on those sensations (even though they're pretty rad!) I love that peace is a sensation when your in His presence. Peace can become such an abstraction... I've been praying to carry peace with me, and what I'm realizing (as with most of my desires) is that I've really just been asking for more Papa.
THANK you for blessing me with your feedback sir Medic!