I'm telling you, I have never reaped so much joy from a social event as when I have to force myself to attend against my will.
Lately - perhaps because I've been writing more and therefore spending a lot of time growing things in the garden of my mind - engaging socially with people has been draining. I spend my time at work chatting with customers; when I leave, the idea of chatting further feels overwhelmingly tedious.
There are a select few people in my inner-circle who are exempt from these moods. Jeremiah my husband, my little doggies, and the folks we cook dinner with throughout the week (stomach defeats whiny mood, always).
I've made a point the past couple days to involve myself in social activities after work. Simple things, like pizza at our friends' house or beers with another couple. Particularly, things involving people who aren't in my "inner circle." I've been leaving work feeling like the art of making small talk has been lost to me, and ready to dive into a book with headphones and ice cream. Instead, when opportunities for social gathering have presented themselves, I've accepted them.
It's been a little painful, all this acceptance.
But the more time I spend in conversation, hanging out with people, the less anti-social I feel. A weird tingle is generated from my bellybutton to my lips in these social gatherings. I find myself smiling, laughing even. I'm not sure what to call this tingle, but I'm pretty sure it's happiness or something. Maybe even joy. (That said, I value alone time. Thrive from it and need it. We're talking about balance, here; I'm not suggesting forgo alone time.)
Some Mormon Missionaries came to my door recently. They were rather nice, took my trash out for me and even conceded when I told them they could pray for me if I could pray for them. In trying to convince me I needed to go to church, the concept of Communion was presented.
"I do that all the time," I explained.
"Well, the thing about Communion is that it's about the right mindset. It's the blood and body of Christ; someone in authority needs to bless the bread and wine," they explained.
Two thoughts occurred to me. One, I expressed: "I think you're right. Really, it's about Jesus. When we focus on him, our mindset is aligned with his. And ya know, in the Bible Jesus says 'All the authority of heaven and earth is mine; I give it to you.' So, I've got all the authority I could possibly need. And so do you." (Authority examples: Matthew 10:8 and 28:18, Luke 10:19)
Perhaps friends are like spiders that help keep the
garden of our minds pest free. Photo by: Josiah McLain
The second thought, I didn't recall until I began this post. "The Last Supper," from which Christianity has derived the communion ritual, was definitely about Jesus. But it wasn't Jesus alone, it was Jesus surrounded by his friends. It was a social gathering; a shared experience.
We don't need bread and wine to have communion, though they are convenient symbols. We need each other.
I have a hunch our Oppressors would do anything in their power to keep us from communing - giving and receiving life - with our friends and Jesus. Without communion, we who are rivers at our healthiest, dry up into deserts.
While our moods are strong, we are stronger. The longer we go without breaking out of a bad mood, the harder it might be but the more enlivening the end result. It's a new struggle every time I feel an anti-socail mood coming on; it's yet to become easy to say Hmm, this mood is damaging me spiritually. I need to stop bitching and get over it. Practice, I'm hoping, makes perfect.
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Click HERE for more posts about Communion in my heretical life.
Kingdom reality turns earthly reality inside out and backwards. “To be first, you must be last and serve everyone,” Jesus told his disciples as they argued about who was best (Mark 9:33-35).
Humility.
Humility is the key to the kingdom.
So what’s the key to humility? I can tell you, it isn’t powerlessness, as I often find myself thinking. Neither is it enslavement - doing good deeds or good work while receiving nothing of value in return. Those who follow Jesus are heirs to his kingdom. We’re world changers; the most powerful, free people on the planet. Humility doesn’t negate this truth, humility makes this truth reality.
I was working a morning shift at the coffee shack a couple weeks ago. Mornings are busy enough to require a two man team, so I worked with a co-worker named Ray. Mid-way through our shift, some friends of mine came in.
A mother (Sue) and daughter (TJ) duo, I’ve never seen my friends together sans laughter. They told me a story about a time they laid hands on Sue’s back with a group of friends. They prayer warriors gathered around Sue in the hot seat, made declarations and spoke in tongues and all was very lovely, though not particularly healing. Until TJ started laughing. Before they knew it, the laughter had spread out of control.
As the giggle fits subsided, without further ado, Sue stood, said thanks, and walked away healed.
This day at the coffee shack they were particularly bubbly. They’d been listening to a song from Dispicable Me 2 called “Happy,” they told me. As they walked in, they were still singing raucously. Ray tried without success to focus them on their drink order, shrugged and resigned them to me.
I barged into their happy parade, took their orders, and they waited in the window across from the espresso machine chatting and giggling merrily. Perhaps 20 minutes after they left, a woman in plaid came in and stood in the same window, waiting to be helped.
“How are you doing today?” Ray asked, while I busily pulled shots and steamed milk.
The woman in plaid paused, scrunched up her face in confusion for a moment, then answered, “Literally two seconds ago, until you asked me that, I was feeling really irritated like I was having a terrible day. But suddenly I feel really, really good. Thanks!”
I want to utilize this post to speak to a specific group of people: Customer Servants. Those of us in the customer service industry often feel abused, demeaned, and pretty pissed off about it. Those of us who makes tips can easily find ourselves measuring our worth by the amount of money people are willing to put in our jars. Some days, despite our best efforts, we feel utterly worthless.
I’ve written about customer service in the past. It’s a common topic for me to share on The Daily Heretic because I believe in Jesus’s commission to “go out” (Matthew 10:8). So strongly, I’ve shaped my life around it and chosen to make my everyday a mission. Most days, I find myself at work. To recap, I am a barista and my husband works at Trader Joe’s. And so, customer service.
A day of customer service can leave me feeling a sense of hopelessness unlike any other work I’ve ever done. It’s so easy to notice the flaws in the people I interact with - ingratitude, pride, narcissism, ignorance. By the end of the day, I feel completely justified being fed up and miserable. After all, I’ve spent hours laboring to cater to the whims of wealthy people who don’t deserve it. I could be in Africa, or India, or Haiti serving people starving and dying. They’d be grateful, right?
My friends Sue and TJ brought a cloud of kingdom joy into my coffee bungalow so thick it stuck around after they left. The woman in plaid stood within it totally unable to access it, until Ray unlocked the door with humility. That very simple “How are you doing today?” - a question we in customer service ask thousands of time in a week - was all it took to unlock the kingdom at hand and instantly change the course of the plaid woman’s day.
A few months ago I had a dream about a sushi feast being served to demons (if I find the dream, I'll link it here). Since that dream, I’ve started to notice that the negative feelings I occasionally have toward customers were feeding the demons they were carrying in with them. Whenever I noticed myself slipping into anger (or annoyance or impatience) I started to simply say “I don’t feed demons,” and that was enough to re-engage my spirit with the Kingdom and end the feast.
The trick isn’t ending the feast. That’s easy. The moment I engage with Jesus, the feast is over. The trick is recognizing that a feast is happening.
Following the dream, I realized my mood toward a person often shifted the moment they stepped out of their car. I’d watch them walk in, and a steady stream of reasons justifying my bitterness about serving them coursed through my mind. By the time they came in, I’d force myself to smile knowing full-well they didn’t deserve even common courtesy.
Until I recognized this, my job was very difficult to enjoy for the entirety of a day. It was thanks to the customers who took care to beam their light and love my direction that I’ve kept my job as long as I have.
After a period of weeks doing my best to diligently declare “I don’t feed demons,” the practice became second nature. Now when I notice a shift as someone steps out of their car, I begin asking Jesus what he likes about them. Sometimes, asking that question feels like pulling teeth. I seriously don’t want to hear it.
But even if I want to ignore Him, I declare “I don’t feed demons” and make myself ask them “How are you doing today?” By the time this person I deigned to smile at minutes ago leaves, we’ve had a meaningful and worthwhile interaction and I feel good. Like, joy of Jesus good. It wasn’t until I watched Ray unlock the joy of the kingdom with that same question, that I began to recognize the power I wield as a humble servant.
If you’re not relating to this, please at least don’t think I’m a rotten person you never want to get your coffee from. I should clarify, I don’t go through this with every person I serve. Gracious that would be tedious. Though I serve about 70 people per shift, it takes only few badly handled or unrecognized demonic encounters to really ruin my day. I’m describing those select few, not the vast majority.
The problem with an unrecognized demon encounter when you’re serving people, is they’re simultaneously unrecognized Jesus encounters. Jesus said “When you serve the least of these, you serve me” (Matthew 25:31-46).
Criteria for favorite posts:
Made me ask, do I believe this?
Reminded me of productive, community building conversations.
After re-reading, I had new questions.
Did you read any of these posts? Did they make you ask questions, throw your pen across the room, laugh until you pee? I would not one bit mind feedback; let me know what you're interested it. Maybe we have similar interests. Maybe God is talking to us about the same things. Like, wow.
On January 23, after 3 months and 3 days, 3 breaks, 3 casts, and 3 surgical incisions, Kendal's cast was removed. And that was that.
We hoped he would be given a walking boot. We made declarations that he would not be casted again. And next thing I know he comes crutching into my cafe with nothing on his leg but a striped sock and paint splattered shoe.
His bones are still healing, and are still essentially broken as you can see in the photo. But he's been told to put as much weight on it as he wants. And we are laying hands like mad.
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I went home the week before Christmas to visit my family. The day I returned to Olympia, my sister Brittany went in to surgery for an ACL replacement.
The process of putting an IV into her arm was traumatizing enough that the nurses doped her up with sedatives as soon as the IV was completed. When I went in to visit her, she was out of it to say the least. We talked about the mini-dreams she was having every time she closed her eyes, while our parents talked to the surgeon about things like cadaver tendons and recovery time.
I'm certain that my own knee problems and hers are spiritually related. As I learn about my own knee, I'm learning how to approach laying hands on hers.
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My brain is melted currently; I've spent the month creating a business plan in order to open a coffee shop when I move (soon!). I have some stories, dreams, and learning experiences to share, but until then I just wanted to update anyone who has been reading along.
