And Now, Time

For something I haven't done yet. 

I wrote some free verses while sitting between two awkwardly contrasting experiences. The first: A most enjoyable, religion free corporate worship expression. The second: A sermon I'm going to pretend I didn't hear.

It occurred to me after re-reading, (I'd forgotten I wrote this until now), that many of my thoughts in Oh hell.  sprouted in these verses. To be honest, sin and Hell are the least interesting, least relevant conversation topics I can think of. Particularly for free people. That said, there's something about the conversation that I can't put my finger on; something relevant that's being pointed at but missed. 

In an effort to explore the missing relevance, I share the following poem. Have at it. 

Fig Tree

* The fig tree in nature wraps itself around rotting trees or boulders and creates a new ecosystem.

“We begin rotting the moment we leave childhood behind. These bodies are temporary after all. Would it be so terrible a fate to transcend the decay of the flesh, to be recreated as a new ecosystem for generations of life to thrive from?” 

-The Healer 

To talk about writing 
            Is not writing.
The sign to Yelm

Fig tree overtaking a boulder.
(click for source)

        Is not Yelm. 
Mistake not sign for signified.
Moon cannot shine without 
Sun’s light to reflect, yet
In daylight, Sun-shining Moon
                   Must rest
     Lest Moon 
    Eclipses Sun and 
Day turns to noon-night.

Return to Caesar what’s his
For I live not on bread, but on the every word of God. 
                                                                                Agape. 
Prosperity, health, joy and peace. 
Agape, the nectar of the dinner words that keep me alive. 
I seek the Sun’s face. 
Keep seeking until His gravity pulls me faster
                                                                   Faster in and 
                            Sun joins Moon, sharing the earth’s eye,
                            Drawing the tides together.  
                                 Call and response. 
                                                                         I’m burning. 

Oh hell.

"Appearance of Sin"
I submit this a a prompt of sorts. Before we spout off about avoiding
appearances of evil, let us ask with whose eyes we are looking. This latte art
was made with painstaking care by loving hands that give and receive
Christ's finished work through daily service of body, soul, and spirit.

I've been having more and more discussions lately, both in the web-world and the real world (and in the Spirit world, for that matter) about Hell and sin.

I've been getting more and more frustrated with having to first explain that Biblically, Hell is a vague concept. Significantly more is written about Heaven, and much of the common Christian idea of Hell is completely based on teachings that aren't Bible based.

Stop it.

Stop preaching a Hell that God never mentioned.

Stop using Hell to manipulate people into living according to your concept of "sinlessness."

Stop preaching about "sin" as though A) It's a set of actions. B) The work of the cross isn't finished. C) Adam's "original sin" was somehow greater, more eternal, and more affective than Christ's defeat of that sin.

IT IS FINISHED.

"If you live in sin, you will end up in a lake of fire for eternity," I heard a pastor say.

And the congregation nodded in agreement.

From 13 year old girls to elderly men, their heads bobbed in unison.

I deem the following ideas - which I've encountered among the Christian religious community repeatedly - myths. I give you my responses (not my answer, reasoning, theology, doctrine or dogma).

1) If you live in sin, you end up in a lake of fire.

Synchrodream?

My Facebook pal Praying Medic created a group called "Facebook Synchro-Notes." Members create topic polls and determine a subject to write on, then determine a time and day to collectively write and post notes on the chosen topic.

I participated in the group's first collective posting effort today. The topic was "the purpose of dreams." I'll share my note here to read, and you can click here to see what others posted. I haven't had a change to read any, but I've gotten amazing input from some of today's authors in the past. Can't wait to see how people responded to the prompt.

The Purpose of Dreams 

Dreaming is one of my favorite pastimes. I look forward to sleeping, I'm so eager to dream. 

In the dream realm, I experience Papa God in ways I'm not accustom to in the physical realm yet. Some dreams engage my spirit, some my soul (mind, will, emotion), some both. I'm even convinced that some dreams engage sprit, soul, and body, though I'm not certain I've experienced this yet. Spirit travel, training, prophecy, transrelocation - these are the activities of dreams.

I realized recently that my rate of prophetic dreaming (which I would describe as a dream engaging both spirit and soul), has slowed significantly. Though I still have at least one or two weekly, a few months ago I was having them daily. Since asking Dad about why my dreams have slowed, I've had a few revelations over the past week which I didn't realize were related to this writing effort until about five minutes ago. 

The revelation process began with exploration of a recurring experience of fear. It's an experience I've had in both the physical and dream realms. Particularly, fear that inhibits my ability to use my voice.

The fear induced by spiders indicates they are all this big.
(click image for source)

Once, to give a physical example, I was at the family computer late at night. It was at least five years ago, I still lived at home. I heard a scuttling noise and turned my head to see the largest spider I'd ever seen before walking across our dining room floor. I tried for several minutes to scream, to call for my dad to kill the thing. I couldn't move. I couldn't make a sound. Finally I ran into my parents' room, woke up my dad, and convinced him to hunt it down.

That night, I dreamed that spiders and snakes were flooding my room. I had a few seconds to escape, but I was paralyzed with fear and could neither more nor scream. 

Over the past year or two I've had the same visceral sensation of paralyzing fear in dreams that often don't involve spiders or snakes. Rather, they involve the need to heal or raise the dead, or to counter an oncoming attacker (usually a zombie or demon of some sort). Very high pressure, very dire situations. 

In every one of these situations, even the ones that still involve spiders, I know I need to say the words "In Jesus Name." I know that these are the words that will save me. But I'm standing paralyzed, fighting to use my voice.

At first, these struggles were overwhelming. Speaking felt impossible, but I kept trying. Once or twice I woke myself up saying "Jesus" out loud, I was trying so hard in my dream. As time has gone on, the struggles have gotten easier and shorter. I still feel the same sensation - that I'm dropping down the first, steepest hill of a rolloer coaster with no visible end and I'm fighting to catch the breath needed to scream - but it now lasts only moments before I am speaking Jesus' name and taking action. 

Ah-Ha! Fleeting moments of Wisdom

"Ah-ha! Now I have more questions..."

I've no understanding of the concept of wisdom, as far as I can tell. I've heard it used in ways that make  me feel, "Ah-ha!" But never in ways that make me think, "Ah-ha! Now I understand!"

I was drinking a Yogi Tea the other day with some friends. Yogi®  writes inspirational quotes on the string paper, and we enjoy reading them. The ceremony goes: talk and laugh until the tea has cooled enough to sip. Only after taking a sip, may the quote be read. Once read silently, it should then be read aloud and discussed.

On this particular day, my quote was "Wisdom becomes knowledge when it is personal experience."

Ah-ha! Now I have more questions and feel further from understanding. Excellent.

Knowledge has never been the real focus of my pursuits. Nor has wisdom. I want understanding. I'll spend hours, weeks, researching and gathering knowledge if it will lead to understanding. But once discovered, it's the understanding that sticks with me, not the knowledge. (This has a tendency of making it difficult to share that understanding with others, I'll say.)

I'll spend an entire summer skateboarding, but once I understand the mechanics, I lose interest. I've spent years practicing latte art; now that I understand it, I am bored. I don't seek to perfect the skills, only practice until my mind grasps them.

Are these practices wise? I'm thinking not.

There's a correlation between knowledge, wisdom, and understanding. There's also a contrast. The urge to pursue these contrasts and correlations has been growing. I need to understand them, because I want to understand wisdom. Thus, I share the rest of this post not because I necessarily want you to read it, but because it's a piece to the puzzle that, to ignore, would lead me to incomplete understanding.

Participation Part 1 - From busted to better than Ever

I went to Reality, a church place in downtown Olympia, last Sunday. The experience gave me renewed perspective on two stories I'll share, and provided opportunity to co-labor with Papa for healing.

I don't typically go to places that call themselves church. Church is a who, not a what or a where. But this was an exception; an act of obedience to a series of undeniable words from Papa, which I will compile and share in part two.

The sermon, given by Paul Jones, an elder at Reality, was a kickoff to Advent (no surprise there). Titled "King of Faithfulness," the sermon launched from Psalm 98 and Paul discussed the cycle of pain, patience, and promise that humanity has experienced from Genesis on.

Basically, humanity experiences pain, then must patiently endure until God makes a promise and the pain ends (That's a extreme paraphrase, folks. The full sermon is available for a listen, if you need more detail and accuracy). That cycle is illustrated throughout the Old Testament, and we can see it in the world today.

Vocalist and Drummer participating with audience to sing
"The Fly" Dec 1 at Le Voyeur. Photo by Winter Rain X

So what breaks that cycle? According to Paul: participation.

Now we're getting somewhere.

Paul, using Psalm 98 as a reference, explains the cycle is broken because God participates. "He has remembered his love and his faithfulness," says verse three.

"If you're an underliner, take out your pen and underline 'remember.' If you take one thing from tonight, take this: God remembers," said Paul. "Remember" in this case doesn't indicate that God forgot, and has suddenly recalled his love and faithfulness. Rather, it indicates action; to remember is to act upon his promises. In other words, God participates. God is participating in our lives.

The Unhinged Servant - Part 3

I'm writing for National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), so my fingers and thoughts have been rather tied up. An Associated Press article released today caught my attention, though, and re-sparked some thoughts I was in the process of growing from and sharing here. 

Part 2: Boundless Leaders

November 7 at You Are Never Alone, an Occupy Sandy
outreach center. AP Photo by Craig Ruttle.

Service has been a huge topic of discussion for Papa and I. The impact of those discussions has been to completely reshape and restore my concept of The Church as Christ's bride, not a religious organization. 

In the first of two previous posts, I shared the point from which I entered these conversations with Papa (Part 1). Mostly rant, wholly honest, it was from that level of awareness Papa held my hand and walked with me the path to new awareness. In the second part, I recalled a few key moments in these conversations where the proverbial lightbulb flipped on (Part 2). From these moments, I was launched into territory I'd never been. Suddenly, fresh fruit was growing from conversations with Papa I hadn't even realized we were having. 

One of those conversations revolved around leadership. Communities I was a part of were dying, and I kept thinking, It's because we have no leadership. 

One day, not long after realizing I had been granted my request for new eyes (and so have you), Papa chimed in again. What does leadership look like? After a moment of imagining leaders I choose not to follow, and those I do, he asked What do leaders do? It took me a little more time to imagine this. Do they direct discussion? Tally votes? Disperse tasks? Make decisions? Teach? Prophesy? Guide? Motivate? 

It took more time to realize that a leader does all of these things, in any way they can, in whatever way is needed. It is a leader's role to step in and fill whatever role is needed for the project, group, or community to flourish. 

Leadership is a limitless gift, by which we release the Kingdom of Heaven on earth, by which we directly reflect Papa God. It is not a gift that grants control or authority. We have control and authority over the powers of darkness, the principalities and rulers of the world. Our authority is over satan, demons, and disease, not over our fellow humans. 

Leadership, like service, is a gift directly from Father God (here's that gifts list again). I discussed in Part 2 that my new eyes (and yours) were capable of seeing areas that once appeared as lack or laziness, but were in fact opportunities to co-labor with Papa. Opportunities to step into a need, and transform it into a blessing. I thought these were servants eyes, resultant of walking in the gift of service. 

Then Papa brought me back to the conversation we'd begun about leadership. Why aren't you leading, if it's leadership that is needed? He asked. 

Leadership is not my gift. I've never been a leader. Im not a leader. As I continue to pull the log out of my eyes, I've started to understand that the more I embrace the gift of service and choose to walk in it, the more I will find myself leading. Leadership is not an identity to claim, but a gift to receive and give. What I thought were servant's eyes, were also the eyes of a leader. The two gifts go hand in hand. The gift of leadership provides a willingness to take action, the gift of service provides a willingness to take the needed action, not the action that best suits us. When a need is presented, it doesn't remain a need after a servant leader gets hold of it. 

The Unhinged Servant - Part 2

My understanding and experience with worship over the past week has me firmly convinced that worship is not limited to church buildings. Nor is it limited to musical talent. It is an all the time, everywhere part of life that allows our spirits the freedom they so crave. That said, I've included two songs I've been worshiping Papa with, and I find them very relevant to this post. Let your spirits soar, friends. (Some will be initially repelled by the first video. Please get over it and listen anyway.)

Part 2: Battle For Eye

Several months ago, my friends got together for one of our last Bible studies at The Yellow House. Over hookah and snack food, we opened our Bibles and talked about our lives. We were in the thick of Acts, which led to a conversation about spiritual gifts. I was going through a phase of breaking, inhaling, growing and breaking again and again (Dan Smith, "David De La Hoz," featured above). I shared my experience filling out spiritual gifting questionnaires (From Part 1), and said "I saw Service as a gift, knew I should mark it, and specifically chose not to. And still, though I understand the value of the gift, and I'm pretty sure I have it... I'm fighting it tooth and nail."

My roommate's dad, Dave, was there. He is one of the few adults I trust to share an open, Bible focused discussion with. In response, he said, "There are three lists of gifts in the Bible. Service is on the list of gifts given directly from Father God. If you're fighting that, you're fighting God."

"No wonder," I said. And was silent the rest of the night, pondering the implications of his statement. (Ok, silent is a drastic overstatement. But the pondering has continued ever since."

Service is a gift directly from Father God. If you, like me, are in the service industry, you are in position to move under open heaven. You are in position to commune directly with Papa God, all day long. You are in position to co-labor with the God of all creation, and significantly impact lives.

What's missing from this ministry opportunity? Not a thing my friends. Ready and willing hearts are all Papa needs.

You may feel mad. Used. Overworked, underpaid. Looked down on. Undervalued. Like no matter how friendly you act and how broad you smile, your tips are shit. [If you haven't read Part One, now would be an exceptional time to do so.]

You are ok.

Christ lived to serve, and was spit on, kicked, tortured and scorned in return. You are in good company.
Not all people are in the state of mind or spirit to receive your service gift. Many expect you to serve them; they're paying you after all. Many don't respond when you ask how they're doing, and most certainly don't ask how you're doing.

You are ok.
Your ability to walk in the gift of service, to serve in Christ's image, is not dependent on others' ability to receive that gift.